Shaken, Not Stirred
by mamapranayama
Summary: Just a silly little story that proves Tony has seen way too many James Bond films. Rated 'T' for terrible puns and ridiculously crude double entendres.Tiva


**Disclaimer:**I own no part of NCIS or its characters. No profit is derived from this story. It is intended for entertainment purposes only; mostly my own.

**Shaken, Not Stirred**

By Mamapranayama

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Straightening his smart and black silk bow-tie as he stood at the casino bar, Tony took his drink in one hand and strode with a confident swagger towards the poker table situated across the room. With his hair perfectly coiffed, black single-breasted designer tuxedo and matching immaculately polished Italian leather shoes, one would have to be blind not to notice how good he looked tonight. Along the way, he caught the seductive stares of several well-dressed and well-endowed ladies, but his eyes were focused on only one target for the evening- he'd have time for the rest of them after his work was finished.

Approaching the green, felt topped table, he slipped into a seat next to the raven-haired temptress with the exotic and dangerously beautiful features he noticed from the bar. Even compared to all the other she-spies and femme fatales he had the pleasure of knowing intimately in his line of work, she was more than a stand-out. In a word, she was gorgeous. Dressed in a red, skin-tight and sparkling strapless evening gown so low cut that it left little to the imagination, she launched a set of dark, bedroom eyes in his direction, making contact with his own level gaze. She granted him a suggestive grin which he returned with a sly one of his own, looking over the glass of his shaken, not stirred vodka martini.

"Are you looking to play with me?" She asked in a throaty, middle-eastern accent, her eyes narrowing on him.

"Actually, I'm just looking.... for now." He replied, making sure she noticed as his gaze roamed all over her shapely body.

"If you want to join me, I should warn you, this is not my first time." She stated with a purr, her lips curling into a smile.

"Nor mine....Ms...?"

"Ziva." She pronounced with an extra long 'Z'. She held out a satin gloved hand. Tony took it into his own, bringing it up to his lips, never once breaking contact with her eyes.

"The name is DiNozzo...Tony DiNozzo. A pleasure to meet you."

"The _pleasure_ is all mine." With a flick of her head, she tossed her long, dark tendrils to her opposite shoulder, leaving the other side open for him to get a clear view her graceful and slender neck with the long diamond earrings dripping down the length of it.

"Perhaps I'll take you on after all." He tantalized her.

"You can take me on anytime, Mr. DiNozzo." She took a sip of her own drink before continuing and crossed her legs seductively. "But I always end up on top."

"There's a first time for everything, Love" He edged a little closer to her, nearly touching the creamy, exposed skin of her arms. Her lightly scented perfume wafted into his nose, teasing his senses.

Moments later, antes were placed and cards dealt. Tony picked up his hand, studying the cards thoughtfully before catching Ziva looking at him over the tops of her own cards with eyes penetrating into his that indicated that the game was on.

Ziva exchanged two of her cards, then smiled cunningly back up at Tony as he traded three of his own with the dealer. He kept his features impassive and carefully schooled, seeing that he hadn't improved his hand any with his new cards. However, the game was far from over yet.

She placed her bet into the pot and Tony matched it.

Confidently, Ziva placed her cards face down on the table and raised the stakes, pushing all of her chips to the center with an alluring smile.

"I want all or nothing, Mr. DiNozzo and I have a feeling you are bluffing." He turned to her, raising an eyebrow.

"I could be, but I've always found women to be the best at faking it." He pushed all of his chips next to hers, giving her a smug grin in return. "Show me yours and I'll show you mine."

Her eyelids slid half-way down enticingly as she turned her cards over one by one, revealing a pair of queens to be the best in her hand.

At the same time, he laid his cards down with their faces up. He showed only a pair of twos.

"Looks as though you've beaten me." He pointed out with a waggle of his eyebrows, not at all disappointed to be defeated.

"That part is still yet to come." She pulled her chips towards her before standing up and walking up behind him, tracing a fingertip along his shoulders lightly and whispering into his ear, her hot breath grazing his neck, causing goosebumps to rise.

"I have a different kind of game I would like to play next." She suggested in a low and sultry voice.

"I'm willing to _rise _to the challenge, but hopefully it isn't another game of chance." He murmured back.

"Perhaps not, but if it was, you would do very well since I am about to make you one _very lucky man_."

"Well, let's not go off all half-cocked..." He quipped over his shoulder.

"I never do anything half-way, Mr. DiNozzo. I always go all of the way." She pursed her lips and blew a soft puff of air into his ear then turned away, tempting him to follow her to the exit, the open back of her dress exposing every muscle of her finely honed body as her hips swayed from side to side. He couldn't help but cock a grin to the side of his face as he downed his drink in one gulp. Intent on catching up to her, he licked his lips in anticipation and headed for the door.

He didn't get far before a heavy force hit him on the back of the head.

"Wake-up, DiNozzo!"

Tony shot up, a long string of drool hanging from the corner of his mouth. One very annoyed director and twenty pairs of sleepy eyes within the darkened classroom centered on him, most of them grinning or holding back chuckles as he wiped his mouth on his sleeve and straightened his mussed up hair. He reddened, waved and smiled to everyone until they turned back to the sexual harassment PowerPoint presentation they were all being subjected to. Ziva held his gaze a few extra seconds with a barely restrained snicker before finally returning her attention to the front.

"Sorry, Boss." He apologized sheepishly.

"Dreaming of being James Bond again, Tony?" Gibbs asked.

"How'd you know?"

Gibbs gave him a slight look of amusement and calmly took a sip of his coffee before telling him.

"You said something about the things you had to do for Queen and Country."

**The End**

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